Household Humor Lovers Gifts

Henry Persil

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

"Were we expecting a baby?"

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

"Mulch madness"

"And I suppose you forgot to bring home the milk."

'I'm not going to remind you again, Harold. Now, go get the garbage and bring it in here.'

"I told my mom either the sitter goes, or I go!"

'That's the problem with living with an artist, the fruitbowl is always off...'

"So kids, you got work from your teachers right?"

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

'He'll do the dishes now that I've attached an accelerator.'

"The blow drier is broken."

Desperate Househusbands: 'Help! My wife left me with the kids for two minutes while she ran to the store. Help!'

'How many times do I have to tell you about putting the toilet seat back up?'

Search for Missing Socks

'Maybe putting 'Sleep 20 Hours A Day' first on the list wasn't such a good idea.'

"I told you not to leave without taking out the garbage!"

'It's a new record, mom - there are six of us in here!'

'Certainly you may come in for a drink. You live here.'

'Harold, I told you not to eat the last piece of pie!'

"Our cat is the only god this home needs."

'The fire seems to be drawing well.'

"Can I turn off the game and set the table? Ha, ha! Oh, honey, you are hilarious!"

'George, I can't sleep with a window shade flapping! Get up and fix it!'

'Be sure to bring home your divots so you can patch the bare spots in our lawn.'

"For God's sake! Let the man have his simple pleasures."

Hi love...one less for tea tonight

'Goodnight honey... did you remember to unplug the baby?'

"...I love the smell of an uncut lawn."