Household Handyman Gifts

'That's the worst case of rising damp I've ever seen!'

Household projects.

Jack of all trades

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

Painting the Ceiling

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

Tool Box

'I found the termites!'

A man sees a leak in his ceiling and drills a hole in the floor under leak to by pass his apartment.

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

I did it my way.

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

'A cousin to the hammerhead, here we see the allusive, yet, handy, multi-use shark.'

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

"Flat pack furniture is my passion. It's just a shame I haven't the space to assemble it."

'Now it fits.'

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

Do-It-Yourself. Do-it-yourself-With-Good-Friends-and-Pizza-and-A-Few-Beers.

"See this area right here, honey? This is why we need to find someone who knows what they're doing."

'It all started when he tried to assemble a backyard gym without reading the instructions.'

Fuel bill gone through the roof

"Lovely dovetail."

'Our Filipino dog's a real treasure.'

"The bad news is that I backed into a fan. The good news is my owner's a plumber."