Diy Handyman Gifts

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

Kid with messed up project in Wood Shop, titled: 'Wouldn't Shop'

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

Fixing the Computer.

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

'Put your tools away. We can't afford to pay any more tradesmen to fix another of your botched DIY projects.'

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

'But I don't want to be able to turn on the toaster with the TV remote!'

Fixing the TV.

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

"Never marry an engineer."

Man's best friend

'Apart from his awful workmanship, my hubby's handy work is fine.'

"I'm looking for a Father's Day gift. What kind of wrench says 'I love you'?"

'I can't work with computers, on account of my animal magnetism.'

'My dog is terrified of strangers. would you be a dear and wear this outfit while you're working here?'

'As a kid I was always taking things apart...so, anyway, that's when my parents stopped getting me pets.'

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

'As I said to Phil, 'Call a plumber!''

Caveman wheel repairers.

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 2

Repairing the UFO

Mower Repair

'He kept his enthusiasm for DIY right up to the end.'

Elwood 'I Can Fix This Myself' McGrunzen

"Stop being stubborn and call the plumber!"

He spends all weekend under the stupid thing, but I don't think he's really fixing anything.

"Thanks for fixing the muffler."

"I'm going to put some shelves up, certain scenes may contain strong language."

'I suppose you tried to fix it yourself.'

Christmas gift requiring assembly.

Cordless Drill and Drill Less Cords.

'Next time you lose your keys, please call a locksmith instead of blowtorching the door.'

"Baldo! Get away from my truck!"