Diy Handyman Pillows

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

Kid with messed up project in Wood Shop, titled: 'Wouldn't Shop'

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

Fixing the Computer.

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

'But I don't want to be able to turn on the toaster with the TV remote!'

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

'Put your tools away. We can't afford to pay any more tradesmen to fix another of your botched DIY projects.'

Fixing the TV.

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

'Apart from his awful workmanship, my hubby's handy work is fine.'

"Never marry an engineer."

Man's best friend

"I'm looking for a Father's Day gift. What kind of wrench says 'I love you'?"

'I can't work with computers, on account of my animal magnetism.'

'As a kid I was always taking things apart...so, anyway, that's when my parents stopped getting me pets.'

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

'As I said to Phil, 'Call a plumber!''

Mower Repair

Repairing the UFO

"Stop being stubborn and call the plumber!"

Caveman wheel repairers.

Elwood 'I Can Fix This Myself' McGrunzen

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 2

'He kept his enthusiasm for DIY right up to the end.'

"Thanks for fixing the muffler."

Christmas gift requiring assembly.

Cordless Drill and Drill Less Cords.

"I'm going to put some shelves up, certain scenes may contain strong language."

'I suppose you tried to fix it yourself.'

"You'll have to excuse the president. He misses his old days at the construction site."

'Next time you lose your keys, please call a locksmith instead of blowtorching the door.'