Digital Handyman Pillows

"Got it!"

Kid with messed up project in Wood Shop, titled: 'Wouldn't Shop'

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

'Now it fits.'

"You need to take this thingamajig...and attach it to the whatchamacallit using a turny thing."

'I think you should seek treatment for that Lego block obsession of yours!'

Fixing the TV.

'Put your tools away. We can't afford to pay any more tradesmen to fix another of your botched DIY projects.'

'How are you doing on your side?'

"I'm looking for a Father's Day gift. What kind of wrench says 'I love you'?"

'I can't work with computers, on account of my animal magnetism.'

'My dog is terrified of strangers. would you be a dear and wear this outfit while you're working here?'

"According to the instructions, if the product is found to be faulty, dispose of it responsibly and purchase another."

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

"He downloaded one of those apps that helps you quit smoking."

'He kept his enthusiasm for DIY right up to the end.'

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 2

"Stop being stubborn and call the plumber!"

"I swear- the next one of you that beeps at me is gonna be sorry."

'Dinnertime!', 'Not now, Mom -- the fate of the Galaxy is in my hands!'

"I'm going to put some shelves up, certain scenes may contain strong language."

Finally, I found a good use for that leak.

Cordless Drill and Drill Less Cords.

'Yup, it's broke alright... probably one of your theoretical physicists, or maybe one of them writers from Quantum Leap.'

"You'll have to excuse the president. He misses his old days at the construction site."

God's lil' fix-it shop.

'I am never going to fill out a prom dress.'

Kit-set shelving. Third attempt.

'He's been keeping busy as usual, doing odd jobs around the house.'

"My husband said he could fix anything so if you find him, tell him he was wrong!"

"I'm strictly yes or no. Alexa and Siri deal with facts. Value judgements we leave to your mother."

'That's the worst case of rising damp I've ever seen!'

"He built his own steps. Apparently, he's loving, smart and impatient."

Husband - 'Honey, the Vandamyer's are here!' Wife - 'I'll be down in a minute dear! I'm just polishing my nails.' (Woman polishing metal nails).

"They're not playing video games. They're helping to overthrow evil dictatorships."