Housebreaking Gifts

"Poop outside and he saves it in a bag. Crap on the carpet and he loses his mind."

'Let's not go by the book.'

'No swimming. No breathing.'

"At this office no two days are different."

Yet another law of the jungle: 'Absolutely NO howling at the moon after 11 PM!

Woman's Support Group: No Bra, No Griddle, No Service.

'I shoulda told you guys. . . Marmaduke makes up his own rules as we go along.'

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

Walk or don't. You're a grown man. Make your own decisions.

"Sorry, Rick, but no thongs means no thongs."

To attract a bigger audience, the world chess federation allow fans to distract an opponent when it's his move.

'Don't be so dramatic and get into my office!'

"Worst breach of corporate dress code I've ever witnessed."

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

'Hey, hey, hey!'

"What we're looking for is someone who think outside the box?"

"I'm sick of watching the same movie every day."

'The roof needs icing.'

'Read that last part back to me.'

'Rules are there to be broken, my friend.'

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

Rejuvenile Delinquents.

"Stop with this mathematics dictatorship."

Pole Vault Rules

'Isn't that a little extreme? - Cloning yourself just so you can use the carpool lane?'

'I hate having to go outside for a cigarette!'

'Oi mate! No hoods in the shopping mall.'

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

'No Mis Evans. You know only substitute teachers are allowed to carry taser guns!'

It's from the homeowners association --- They want me to stop leaving my worries on the doorstep.

Henrietta was never one to conform to society's labels. She preferred to think of herself as an 'off-Rhode lsland Red'...

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

"The board is going to have to talk to 5-G again."

Isn't there something about this in th Geneva Convention