Housebreaking T-Shirts

"Poop outside and he saves it in a bag. Crap on the carpet and he loses his mind."

'Let's not go by the book.'

'No swimming. No breathing.'

"At this office no two days are different."

Yet another law of the jungle: 'Absolutely NO howling at the moon after 11 PM!

Woman's Support Group: No Bra, No Griddle, No Service.

"Sorry, Rick, but no thongs means no thongs."

'I shoulda told you guys. . . Marmaduke makes up his own rules as we go along.'

Walk or don't. You're a grown man. Make your own decisions.

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

'Don't be so dramatic and get into my office!'

"Worst breach of corporate dress code I've ever witnessed."

"What we're looking for is someone who think outside the box?"

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

'Hey, hey, hey!'

"I'm sick of watching the same movie every day."

'The roof needs icing.'

'Read that last part back to me.'

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

Rejuvenile Delinquents.

"Stop with this mathematics dictatorship."

'Oi mate! No hoods in the shopping mall.'

'Isn't that a little extreme? - Cloning yourself just so you can use the carpool lane?'

'I hate having to go outside for a cigarette!'

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

'No Mis Evans. You know only substitute teachers are allowed to carry taser guns!'

Henrietta was never one to conform to society's labels. She preferred to think of herself as an 'off-Rhode lsland Red'...

Estate Agent - This house that's 'just what we are looking for' is ours

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

"The board is going to have to talk to 5-G again."

"Kindly place your seat in the upright position, extinguish all smoking material, fasten your seat belt, tie your tie, and adopt a serious and dignified demeanor."