Broken Home T-Shirts

'Your father's seeing another drunk...'

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

LAY ZEE FUK

Lady of the Cake.

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

The wonderful world of cheese.

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

Allotment

Gardener

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

"And this is our media room."

Shed Into Dream Playhouse.

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

Rose Garden

Beach Barbecue

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

'I found the termites!'

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

"I think I perferred the plain magnolia"

Getting to Know You

Candle Portraits.

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

'With my parents out of the house, I can finally start my long awaited mural project.'

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"Get... a-nother room!"

"The following film has been formatted to fir the screen of the newer and more expensive television set."