House Hacker Gifts

My House Is Smarter Than Your Honor Roll Student

Weird things I do because of the internet

Gadget geek.

'It must be a problem of interpretation. I've read this book DOZENS of times, and I keep winding up here!'

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

"Careful! He knows computers."

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

Giving Things Up For Lent.

"I think retrieving the info from that harddrive might be a little tricky."

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

Wallpapering with Nails

'I accidentally hacked into Mom's microwave oven.'

"Never marry an engineer."

"I hacked into Santa's computer and added a few gifts. It pays to have computer skills."

'Where you went wrong' Desk.

"Go ahead. Click on 'I Am Not A Robot.' I dare you."

'Gimme all your cache!'

"Tell me when it's all cyber warfare, and I'll enlist!"

'Life if so much simpler since we called Family Ref.'

Proof of Being Human

The guy who took a wrong turn off the electronic superhighway and wound up in a microwave oven in Davenport, Iowa.

'I think Benjamin like me. He linked my homepage to his homepage.'

'Now, now...no stealing people's data until you finish your brussels sprouts.'

"Remember when they used to call it the 'private sector?'"

"You go pillage. I can loot from here."

'What do you mean that you hacked into Old Faithful's computer so now it's not so faithful?'

'Decoding is often 1, 14, 20, 9, 3, 12, 9, 13, 1, 3, 20, 9, 3.'

Cyberwarfare

"Sure I remember you. I'm terrible with faces but I never forget a username, pin or password."

Tuppermalware

"He downloaded one of those apps that helps you quit smoking."