Smart Home Hacker Gifts

Hacks of the Very Near Future

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

"I have an imaginary friend called Fred, and my dad has one called Alexa."

Gadget geek.

"Alexa, play Thriller by Michael Jackson."

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"I think our smart home is suffering from separation anxiety. It's following us."

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

1 Only Smart Hammer Instructions

"Larry, what's the weather forecast?" "Let me ask you something. Did you make waffles this morning? Because someone had maple syrup on their hands, and I seem to recall a hand moving me... a pretty, pretty, pretty sticky hand..."

Well, you and I know it's our home, but our 'smart home' doesn't know it's our home

"That thermostat I bought is smart. It knows how cheap I am, so it keeps our home freezing."

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

Wallpapering with Nails

"I just got a text message from our dehumidifier. It says it doesn't know how much more of this rain it can take."

"Our smart home sure is sensitive. Every time I hammer a nail in the wall it screams."

'I accidentally hacked into Mom's microwave oven.'

"Never marry an engineer."

"A watched kettle never boils, so I'm covering up Alexa."

"I synchronized the complete household with the computer and the smartphone. Now I don't have to feel lonely when nobody is at home because I can talk to the loo."

'Good grief! Our house is so 'smart' it just refinanced itself!'

'Say - according to our home computer, we're out of bread.'

"The toaster is broken again, sweetheart."

"Officer, someone hacked my bluetooth pressure cooker and blew my kitchen apart! What can I do?"

"These are smart socks. They will crawl themselves to the clothes hamper when you throw them on the floor. Make sure they're charged before wearing them."

"I just installed a home security monitor."

"Question ... what is my motivation to ever leave this armchair?"

"Hold it, Harry. There's a new software update for our toothbrushes."

"No, it's not a computer monitor. It's a doggy door. Not everything is technology related."

"Good morning, Doug, I've had a chat with the other smart appliances, and we feel we'll be just fine without you from here on in."

"This home doesn't have a good view, but it comes with smart windows that change the view to something beautiful."

I just realized how vulnerable I am to people who could hack my phone, my self-driving car, my tv, my garage door opener … So I bought a device called "Trojan Horse: that's supposed to protect me from all that. It connects to my wifi router. It monitors all my web traffic, all my connected devices, and ... well, I'm not exactly sure what it does, but it's supposed to keep the hackers out somehow. What did you say the device is called again? Now I don't worry about anyone hacking my toaster.

"I'm all for the internet of things - but I hate pop-up ads."

Changing the Lightbulb.