Smart Home Tinkerers Gifts

"My smarthome just sent me a text saying it's a mess, so it doesn't feel like having visitors right now."

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

"I have an imaginary friend called Fred, and my dad has one called Alexa."

"I think our smart home is suffering from separation anxiety. It's following us."

"Your imagination is running wild. That's not a tiny drone sent to spy on us. That's just a fly."

1 Only Smart Hammer Instructions

"I think I've fixed the intercom. Just remember to speak into the ceiling fan when the doorbell rings."

Well, you and I know it's our home, but our 'smart home' doesn't know it's our home

"That thermostat I bought is smart. It knows how cheap I am, so it keeps our home freezing."

"Our smart home sure is sensitive. Every time I hammer a nail in the wall it screams."

"Here's the remote to your smart home. It's big, but the good news is you'll never lose it."

"A watched kettle never boils, so I'm covering up Alexa."

"I just got a text message from our dehumidifier. It says it doesn't know how much more of this rain it can take."

"I synchronized the complete household with the computer and the smartphone. Now I don't have to feel lonely when nobody is at home because I can talk to the loo."

"These are smart socks. They will crawl themselves to the clothes hamper when you throw them on the floor. Make sure they're charged before wearing them."

'Say - according to our home computer, we're out of bread.'

"Officer, someone hacked my bluetooth pressure cooker and blew my kitchen apart! What can I do?"

"Question ... what is my motivation to ever leave this armchair?"

"No, it's not a computer monitor. It's a doggy door. Not everything is technology related."

I just realized how vulnerable I am to people who could hack my phone, my self-driving car, my tv, my garage door opener … So I bought a device called "Trojan Horse: that's supposed to protect me from all that. It connects to my wifi router. It monitors all my web traffic, all my connected devices, and ... well, I'm not exactly sure what it does, but it's supposed to keep the hackers out somehow. What did you say the device is called again? Now I don't worry about anyone hacking my toaster.

"I'm all for the internet of things - but I hate pop-up ads."

"This home doesn't have a good view, but it comes with smart windows that change the view to something beautiful."

"The last vampire who lived in it spared no expense on upgrades. Especially when it comes to the latest technology."

"How do you like our new smart water hose? It knows when you're dirty and hoses you off before you come into the house."

"Yes, we now have smart mirrors that can read your mood."

"Hold it, Harry. There's a new software update for our toothbrushes."

"Good morning, Doug, I've had a chat with the other smart appliances, and we feel we'll be just fine without you from here on in."

"I swear- the next one of you that beeps at me is gonna be sorry."

"It's a smart app. It locks the doors and windows if it hears the words 'change management consultant'."

Edward and Mindy lived in a smart Alec building.

'I don't know if artificial intelligence in a toaster is a good thing. It just seems to make toast whenever it feels like it.'

"Honey, the toaster is down, but it's already alerted the oven to pre-heat and broil your muffins."

"This house comes with smart windows. They automatically open when my husband takes his shoes off."

"This smart home doesn't come with a formal dining room. It has an informal dining room, so it will call you by your first names instead of using Mr. or Mrs."