Home Heating Hacker Gifts

Keeping Warm During the Energy Crisis

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

Gadget geek.

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

Electric Blanket.

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

Wallpapering with Nails

"Never marry an engineer."

'I accidentally hacked into Mom's microwave oven.'

"I bought you a cook book. Think of it as technical support."

"The toaster is broken again, sweetheart."

'What do you mean that you hacked into Old Faithful's computer so now it's not so faithful?'

"Sure I remember you. I'm terrible with faces but I never forget a username, pin or password."

'Done! We're now on Santa's 'nice' list.'

"I just installed a home security monitor."

Changing the Lightbulb.

'I can't make dinner right now - I'm installing new software.'

STRIP Hambone: "System been down long?"

'Clothes-dryer Messiah.'

'We had a power surge, and the electronic scoreboard seems to have tapped into the CIA's computer.'

'Don't ask questions, Margaret -- Just get Bill Gates on the phone!'

'Geek computer hackers wouldn't have survived a week at MY West Point!'

"...Won't be a minute darling, I'm just downloading Christmas."

'Do you notice when it's forty below, people quit kicking the oil companies?'

Hacks of the Very Near Future

"He's starting to make coffee in the mailbox, isn't he?"

"Barry can hack anything...including out lunch."

"Mom, call the appliance store. The self-cleaning stove isn't cleaning itself!"

Hacked by Pacific Rim

'Yes! I plugged in enough electric gizmos to cause a power surge and now the electronic billboard has tapped into the CIA computers.'

"OPEC tighten the screws. the Larned A. Corys are ready."

'I steal from the rich databases and give to the poor databases.'

'Your father'll do anything to avoid filling a few watering cans.'

"What do you mean, 'It's cold, throw another log on the fire'? They don't grow on trees you know!"

"Firewood doesn't grow on trees!"