House Fire Gifts

'Oh,yeah? Well, I bet I've had a worse day than you!!'

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

Take seat. Nothing makes me happier than keeping people warm and cooking s'mores for them. Friendly fire.

Good News about winter

'Garfield has told the oil companies to go to hell.'

With Thorssen, it's "Pillage and blunder".

"Smokey The Tree"

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

'I'm retiring soon and looking for something more comfortable...like a loafer.'

Electric Blanket.

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

The New Normal

This "fire" invention is taking more wood than we expected. The First Cost Overrun.

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

'The roof needs icing.'

"The third leading cause of forest fires."

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

"OK then, I admit it. Installing the log burner was a bad idea!"

The Cause of the Australian Bushfires

'Even down here we never lose our sense of humor!'

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

'I'm afraid this is going to lead to regulation of my invention.'

"Love your ambiance!"

Estate Agent - This house that's 'just what we are looking for' is ours

"Let’s not speak of this, Tommy – scouts’ honor?"

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

Emigrating to France.

'It's a long and narrow home: A perfect fit for you Mr Eel...'

'It was an exciting party, especially when the firemen came to put out the fire!'

"I'm tired of this cave. I want a condo!"

'...and the property lies in a beautiful valley by the banks of the river...'