House Design Aficionados Gifts

'You're the architect, of course, but I really think we should go with the gazebo instead of the reflecting pool.'

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"You're welcome."

"Pillows for sleeping on are downstairs. These are all for screaming into."

"Except for that wall socket, the whole damn thing is a trompe-l'oeil."

'It's hard to believe this is just an atrium.'

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

Unknowingly, with one swish of his blood soaked mammoth tail he was inflicting pain and suffering on billions of unborn people. Home decorating had been invented.

"We're going to build in Rhinebeck, once Steven finds the right brick."

"Do you prefer the tile engineered to look like wood, or the wood engineered to look like tile?"

'Oh, honey, what a lovely house... We'll place the couch here, the cupboard there and my psychiatrist right here!'

You dope! Why would you build our home right next to a power plant?

'Well, why didn't you say you wanted the office to be functional?'

Cat being licked by plant.

'Now that you have a job, Tom, Dad and I are turning your room into a condo!'

"If the nanny state wants us to solve the housing crisis they need to get out of the way and let us learn from the leaders in the field..."

"Bad news - the local sewage plant is made of reinforced autoclaved aerated concrete."

'It's a new concept, the inside out house.'

Live, laugh, love

Meanwhile back at the pond 'Wow... nice pad man!'

Jake wonders if the manufacturer went a little too far with its new earth mover product line.

'What makes the Tower of Pisa lean?' 'It never eats.'

"Bailey! What part of 'never jump on the Stickley' don't you understand?!"

'When you're right, you're right. When you're wrong, you're fired.'

'So this is a kitchen!'

'I just love what you've done with the kitty litter box.'

"This is your breakfast nook and over there next to the refrigerator is your breakfast cranny."

"Why did we buy such huge furniture?"

'We can't get enough of these makeover shows.'

'Water is included with rent.'

"The old lady who lives in a shoe is ready for winter."

"My husband, of course, will want a den."

"Experience!"

'And this is the walk-in laundry chute.'