Hotel Hilarity Fan Gifts

Read the small print Guv - 'Press in every room', not 'trouser press in every room.'

'He's not a pet. He's an endangered species.'

Dracula in a Vampire Hospital getting some extra blood from a Human blood drip

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

'Reflexes seem normal. You kept him waiting over two hours.'

Complementary Beverages

'And then, just to humor the guy I said 'I need a hug', little thinking that the big gorilla would do just that.'

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

"We think we got some good CT scans, but unfortunately they're encrypted and our I.T. guy is on vacation this week."

'It's your four basic food groups.'

Footballer with a broken leg and a ball in his cast.

Doctor has the taste for patients urine samples.

'Where does it hurt?'

'I'll give it back to you in a second hon, I just want to get this broccoli out of my teeth.'

'I'm afraid we've removed your wooden leg by mistake.'

'Apart from the pain I can't get my hat off.'

"I have some troubling news, Mr. Smithson. You're in my parking space."

Yep the kids are loving the hotel they've made lots of new friends.

Quick! 5-second rule!

"Your bedside health care book ... thanks for not reading it."

'The doctor is putting you on solids.'

'Hey, Lori! Take a look at Mr. Geckler's EKG!'

'My patient needs a new kidney. Make any grave mistakes today?'

'Two scalpels and a nurses hat are missing...'

'Well my inner diagnostician thinks your inner diagnostician is completely off the wall.'

Graffiti on baseboard.

"Your husband's operation was successful and he can now freely move his arms and legs!...You might want to consider having this surgery yourself!"

"After conferring with my colleagues, we're all agreed you're screwed."

"I picked this one up in France while my wife had her hip replaced."

'I see the Maids have been in!'

'Mr. Figgs - any door with doctor on it - knock-go in-smile-sit down-poor out your woes.'

'Key hole surgery....but wouldn't it be easier if you were actually in the room with me...'

'Really? ..So when I said I'd found you a bed, you thought you'd have it all to yourself?!'

"My Dad has just come out of hospital."