Hotel Aficionado Gifts

'look at this hotel. They leave a ball of yarn on your pillow!'

'What a bargain!'

'Couldn't you have taken the robe instead?'

"We're at the Grand Marina Hotel in Barcelona. Some sheepdog you turned out to be."

"Continental breakfast, daily telegraph and morning after pill"

"Front desk? There are no little candies on my pillow."

'Since winning Lotto, I stay only in five-star hotels: No need for a shell anymore...'

Holiday-maker taking hotel's entire drinking water supply, "All inclusive, then!"

Exit

'Looks like he's going to get your continental breakfast.'

"You'll have to stay in the manger..."

I am delighted to add my heartfelt comments ton my stay at this exceptional hotel - indeed I wish I had a better command of language - 'Absolutely disgusting' just isn't strong enough!

"Problem sir?"

"You're home, dear. We don't have room service."

"I don't think much of the mini bar."

Unhelpful Porter

Washington Had Insomnia Here.

'Would you like a 'turn down' service?' - 'I don't know... I already get turned down quite a lot.' - 'No, no... we go into your room while you're out and fold over the corner of your duvet.' - 'That sounds mildly disturbing.' - 'Look, let me make this...'

'The REAR entrance if you please!'

'Aack! Four star guilt!!'

'We like to go on holiday early in the season...when the sheets are still clean.'

"Shoot, I forgot this place has early checkout."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Meet the author"

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'If only every year was an election year.'

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'