Hotdog Connoisseur T-Shirts

Joe Hundredaire

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

'Oh, and I suppose I'm the only one who's ever heard it's a 'dog eat dog world'?'

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"Any of you guys feel like hot dogs?"

"Trail mix?"

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

How The Sausage Is Eaten

Artisan hot dog stand has pigs tethered to it.

Back in 5 minutes!

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'Another blond hair! You've been making a lot of night calls lately...'

Tidy it up for the open house, and it wouldn't hurt to put out some freshly regurgitated worms. For sale.

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

Two men toting a dog in a carriage by foot, while the dog sticks his head out the window.

'Try the steak tartare...it's okay.'

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

"It's a lot of work, but we've decided to renovate this old factory."

"Make me one with everything!"

Dog Park Zoom

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'

"What's all this?"

Hot Dog Animals: $2

Oh no ... Outsourcing

'I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid that's inappropriate.'

'We've conducted a chemical analysis of the beef in hot dogs, and we've determined, Mr Ruth, you are guilty of steroid enhancement.'

'I can see the practical side of fetching, but what's the point of rolling over?'