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'Next time, eat your chili outside!'

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

'Oh, and I suppose I'm the only one who's ever heard it's a 'dog eat dog world'?'

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

View to the Future

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

Menu Dating

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

Party time.

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

'It's my favorite.'

Artisan hot dog stand has pigs tethered to it.

Fast Food Menu Selections

"What time did you say you wanted me to start drinking?"

"We've misjudged the tapas again."

'Strong curry for two and a fire-extinguisher.'

'Can I have flies with that'

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

"Your meal sounded nice."

Man sitting and reading 'Joy of Take Out' book surrounded by take out boxes.

You're the sizzle in my roast!

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

Dad's old fashioned barbeque

"You're really not too extreme, huh?"

'A Quarter-Tonner, please.'

Thermidor Dali

"The special is… pine nut encrusted… filet of salmon… in a balsamic wine reduction."

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'

"Make me one with everything!"

'You're not retaining water. You're retaining cookies and ice cream and pizza...'

Teenage Angst.