Hospitality Joker Gifts

"You're a terrible host."

'You can afford to be ill for only two more days!'

'I sent out for everything.'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

Ice Cream Surgeon

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

The born comedian - 'I'm only two days old and already I'm using great one liners!'

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

'It's no problem, Mom. Samantha just likes to check on my table manners.'

As a rule, all surprise parties start out with good intentions.

"Are you sure you want to see the kitchen? The chef is naked."

'I told you not to complain about the hospital food!'

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

Excuse me.. Are you Dog Friendly?

"Valet park only"

'Couldn't you think of anything to say to Herb and Mary? They were nice enough to invite us over.'

"Tracy Island offers palatial splendour in the safest of environments. Your beds are unmade because this is Tracy Emin Island."

Opening the Barrel

Batman's Baby

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

With Compliments

'It feels warm enough to me.'

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

Well, she certainly is one of our more positive employees!

Complementary Beverages

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

'It's your four basic food groups.'

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

A sick sandwich is in the hospital and is getting a transfusion on new Maya and Zesty Mustard.