Hospital Wing Wanderer Pillows

"We must be in the wrong wing."

Providing Healthcare For All

"I expect a speedy recovery,"

Hospital Departments

'If it don't hurt, don't mess with it!'

"Cardiac day patients?"

'I'm sorry, but I can't tell you which room the star basketball player is recovering in.'

'We've been told to get families more involved in patient care, he'll need a bath and lunch in about 30 minutes.'

'Which arrow points to my office?'

Hospital Visit

'For god's sake Walters, wait until the patient is fully anesthetized before going through his wallet.'

"I might be a one armed podiatrist... but if you lend me a hand... I'll fix your foot."

'We abide by HIPAA laws to protect your privacy.'

Elderly lady about elderly man: 'We met in ICU. We had a rheumatic encounter.'

'I have to disappoint you Mrs Robinson, today is not Halloween.'

"Next time you want me to swallow a camera, just wrap it in bacon!"

"I'm sending you to someone who's less squeamish."

'Ok, Ms. Feldman, it says on your chart that you were discharged yesterday.'

Medical floor directory follows body parts.

'It's going to take me ten hours to read your care instructions and your insurance only covers an hour of care.'

'The Doctor just finished his rounds. I better go soothe the patient's psyches.'

"Actually, what doesn't kill you just raises the cost of everyone's insurance"

"Is she critical?"

Patient walking out of hospital.

"So far, decliners outnumber advancers nine to seven."

'His insurance company said it does not cover self-inflicted accidents.'

'I could kiss it and make it better, but it's not covered by your insurance.'

Medical mishap.

'My husband was recently admitted. Can you direct me to the hypochondria department?'

Unsuitable hospital reading material.

'Nurse, I asked you to cheer up the ward.'

Boy tricking the nurse