Hospital Adventurers Pillows

Elderly lady about elderly man: 'We met in ICU. We had a rheumatic encounter.'

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

"I never imagined I'd be up on my feet this soon."

"I expect a speedy recovery,"

'Your doing GREAT! Tomorrow you should be able to eat hospital food!'

"Dr. Eliot, would you let the dog out?"

"What should we do with this extra part?"

We charge $500 for every nook and $1,200 for every cranny during diagnosis.

Kid in hospital has I.V. in him that is a straw.

Exploring Healthcare Careers

'Admit it,you've been bothering the nurses again,haven't you?

Clinical Trails. . . Prevention . . . Detection. . . Diagnosis. . . Treatment.

'We've been told to get families more involved in patient care, he'll need a bath and lunch in about 30 minutes.'

'I'm sorry, but I can't tell you which room the star basketball player is recovering in.'

'Which arrow points to my office?'

Hospital Visit

'There's been a little mixup, Mr. Root. The computer has the virus not you.'

"It's not for soaking your feet. . . it's a bed pan."

"We saw the Great Wall and lots of pagodas, and I have a transplanted stomach."

"We must be in the wrong wing."

I suppose this probably counts as an adverse event.

'Let's order one more MRI, just to play it safe.'

Medical floor directory follows body parts.

'Nothing to be alarmed about Mrs.Harvey, kids do this sort of things all the time. I'm sure whatever your Jimmy's gotten lodged up there, we can get it out.'

'It's going to take me ten hours to read your care instructions and your insurance only covers an hour of care.'

'Actually, it's a quite routine operation -- would you like to make it more interesting?'

'I'm afraid neither your insurance nor your immune system will cover it.'

Patient walking out of hospital.

"One minute I was CEO the next I'm the gallbladder in room 405."

"He did it again. Slipped out and replaced himself with a bunch of lumpy pillows."

'Lunch!'

'The good news is the diseases you've mangaed to avoid far outnumber the diseases you've got.'

"Actually, what doesn't kill you just raises the cost of everyone's insurance"

"I wanted you to meet our colon specialist before we miniaturized him."