Hospital Adventure Seeker Pillows

"I'm going to ask you a series of scary questions. When I'm done, let's see if you can guess why I'm asking them."

'Actually, it's a quite routine operation -- would you like to make it more interesting?'

'I'm afraid neither your insurance nor your immune system will cover it.'

'Admit it,you've been bothering the nurses again,haven't you?

'After my third surgery, the surgeon just installed a zipper.'

"One minute I was CEO the next I'm the gallbladder in room 405."

"Ahhh... close enough."

Remote control pirate bully

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

The fate of the emigrant

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

The experienced backpacker.

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

Easter Island legs

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

Tourists

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

Desert Island Meals.

'He's not a pet. He's an endangered species.'

Beach con-man.

'Cannonball!'

'I think you're getting the hang of it.'

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"Look what I found, dad!"

Pirate

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

A tortoise toboggans down a hill in its shell

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

'It's a note...It says I.O.U. one pot of gold.'