Emergency Room Adventurer Pillows

'Nothing to be alarmed about Mrs.Harvey, kids do this sort of things all the time. I'm sure whatever your Jimmy's gotten lodged up there, we can get it out.'

"Dr. Eliot, would you let the dog out?"

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

Being Serenading in Casualty

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

'Relax. This is only a test.'

We charge $500 for every nook and $1,200 for every cranny during diagnosis.

Tsunami Evac Route

'Sorry, shortage of staff.'

'Admit it,you've been bothering the nurses again,haven't you?

"The blaze has taken hold on the eight floor Chief. The C.E.O., V.P. and C.O.O. are trapped in the boardroom!!"

"My God, now what?"

Santa Claus stuck in a chimney sitting in a hospital emergency room.

Fire Backwards.

'Kitchen! Chicken Bone! Hurry!!' - Rent-A-Surgeon

'Oh - It's you.'

'Who's your next of kin? When did you last eat or drink? Do you have any allergies? Are you wearing clean underpants?'

'Maintenance to the O.R....Maintenance to the O.R....'

CLEAR!

'I'm a doctor... This man needs someone who can grant me immunity from liability, and FAST!'

"I've got a pulse!"

'I told you we should have packed a lunch.'

Elderly lady about elderly man: 'We met in ICU. We had a rheumatic encounter.'

Hospital: Accident and Emergency and On Purpose and Suffering Nicely.

'Hold it, you can cancel that STAT call.'

"We ran into a marathon."

A&E Department: "Take a seat!"

Surgical Operation.

"Hello, A and E, which department do you need, stabbing, shooting or general GBH?"

'Just this once sir, we need the overtime.'

"Whoa...not so fast! First of all please tell me your address, your health insurance number, and spell your name for me, Mr. HelpI'mBleedingToDeath."

"He fought like hell."

I suppose this probably counts as an adverse event.

Man with mobile phone says: 'I can't call for help, I'm filming this for the TV news.'