Emergency Room Story Lover Pillows

"If our ambulance hadn't hit you, you might be waiting ten or fifteen minutes for another one."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"Ugh, we get it - you're in love."

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

'I'd like a second opinion, doctor.'

Being Serenading in Casualty

"Dr. Eliot, would you let the dog out?"

"The doctor will now glance in passing at you."

'Sorry, shortage of staff.'

Hospital porter leaving brain behind

Santa Claus stuck in a chimney sitting in a hospital emergency room.

'The doctors ruled out a remarkable recovery. You'll get better, they just don't think it'll be all that remarkable.'

'Don't get any ideas, mister -- I recognize that look in your eye!'

'Who's your next of kin? When did you last eat or drink? Do you have any allergies? Are you wearing clean underpants?'

'It's me, Jack Gurkenman! I'm your ophthalmologist with the broken left ankle, doctor!'

CLEAR!

'Maintenance to the O.R....Maintenance to the O.R....'

'I told you we should have packed a lunch.'

Hospital: Accident and Emergency and On Purpose and Suffering Nicely.

Surgical Operation.

A&E Department: "Take a seat!"

"Do you have someone to drive you home after your surgery? My car's in the shop and I could really use a ride."

"He fought like hell."

"Do you know your name? Do you know where you are? Do you remember the accident? Do you know you had a hole in your underpants?"

'Nothing to be alarmed about Mrs.Harvey, kids do this sort of things all the time. I'm sure whatever your Jimmy's gotten lodged up there, we can get it out.'

"Your wife says she's experiencing nausea. Could you leave the room?"

'Death doesn't frighten me, but the night nurse does...'

'Nurse, that isn't a catheter you've just inserted. It's the other end of my hosepipe!'

"He's one tough cookie. I've never seen anyone bounce back from an autopsy before."

"We have male patient coming in who has a large parsnip stuck up his colon!"

'Well, a quick yank didn't work, either. Let's get you some lower tack bandages.'

'What possessed you to stick a fork into the toaster?' 'It's easy to be wise after the event!'

'How's my son? He swallowed 50p?'

"First the good news - I found my Rolex from your last operation."

"How are you since you swallowed that £2 coin?. . .Has there been any change?"