Hospital Anecdotes Fan Pillows

Hospital porter leaving brain behind

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

Dracula in a Vampire Hospital getting some extra blood from a Human blood drip

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

'Reflexes seem normal. You kept him waiting over two hours.'

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

An organ flies across the room during an operation - 'Catch it...!'

'I'd like a second opinion, doctor.'

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

Being Serenading in Casualty

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

"I never imagined I'd be up on my feet this soon."

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mr.Hooper, I've just got the report on your finances.'

'How about a little smile for me. You've outlived my prediction!'

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

'I thought my appointment was for a TB screening.'

"These are X-Rays of your operation, and this is a selfie I took with your gall bladder."

'And then, just to humor the guy I said 'I need a hug', little thinking that the big gorilla would do just that.'

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

"We think we got some good CT scans, but unfortunately they're encrypted and our I.T. guy is on vacation this week."

"It says you need a CT scan and that the azaleas in the corner need to be watered twice daily."

While you're at it, will you sew on my shirt button please?

'It's your four basic food groups.'

'I'm a practical nurse! -- I know better than to listen to doctors!'

"I got my PhD in Nursing just so people would have to call me Doctor."

Footballer with a broken leg and a ball in his cast.

Doctor has the taste for patients urine samples.

"Would you like to see today's liquidized menu?"

"Sorry, new style pain killer. It's the cut-backs I'm afraid."

Big slipper.

"His wife and family will decide on the course of treatment, but, as his ex, feel free to open up a few old wounds."

Pay Hospital Bill Here.