Hospital Staff With A Sense Of Humor Pillows

'These are your parking charges.'

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

The Friendship Between Death and the Doctor.

'Look mum and dad! They let me keep my appendix!' - A young book excitedly showing off his appendix to his arriving parents.

'Yeah, bit how does the stork get into the maternity room?'

'My doctor told me avoid any unnecessary stress, so I didn't visit him today.'

"Your IQ came back negative."

'Push, dear! The child will be late for pre-school!'

Fly Hospital: "Just a slight stinging then you'll be fast asleep."

"Since Dr Mullin's ill, a temp from Manpower will perform your liver transplant."

Hell's Angels

'Don't be alarmed - I'm a proctologist.'

Doctor to patient: 'I won't be asking about your three marriages. This isn't an invasive procedure.'

Surgeon to other: 'First organ transplant?'

'The good news is it's curable, the bad news is you can't afford it.'

Just Browsing.

"Visiting hours are over, Mrs. Glenborn."

'If you don't like fathers in the delivery room, where will you be?'

Nurse playing darts with syringes.

'Maintenance to the O.R....Maintenance to the O.R....'

Infant care worker is exhausted from sex injuries at hospital.

'I told you we should have packed a lunch.'

"Your appointment's been cancelled. You took too long filling out those forms."

'I like your spirit - nine out of ten people would admit roller-disco wasn't for them!'

Ask me about Naming Rights.

'Have I been waiting long? Well, I guess so. I was forty three years old when I came in.'

Hospitalized intellectuals are ill-literates.

"You car pool guys will be going down together for x-rays."

Nurse cautioning a patient

'Nurse, has the staff been eating in pre-op again? There's mayonnaise on the scalpel.'

'I guess you two won't be reading the Kama Sutra again.'

'Doctor will you step out here and adjust Mr. Hendrick's pacemaker?'

"My friend's in long-term hospital care. Got any Get Rich Quick cards?"