Hospital Staff With A Sense Of Humor T-Shirts

'These are your parking charges.'

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

The Friendship Between Death and the Doctor.

'Look mum and dad! They let me keep my appendix!' - A young book excitedly showing off his appendix to his arriving parents.

'Yeah, bit how does the stork get into the maternity room?'

Clown Delivering Babies.

'My doctor told me avoid any unnecessary stress, so I didn't visit him today.'

"Your IQ came back negative."

'Push, dear! The child will be late for pre-school!'

Fly Hospital: "Just a slight stinging then you'll be fast asleep."

"Since Dr Mullin's ill, a temp from Manpower will perform your liver transplant."

Doctor to patient: 'I won't be asking about your three marriages. This isn't an invasive procedure.'

Hell's Angels

'Don't be alarmed - I'm a proctologist.'

Surgeon to other: 'First organ transplant?'

'The good news is it's curable, the bad news is you can't afford it.'

Just Browsing.

Nurse playing darts with syringes.

"Visiting hours are over, Mrs. Glenborn."

Infant care worker is exhausted from sex injuries at hospital.

'If you don't like fathers in the delivery room, where will you be?'

'Maintenance to the O.R....Maintenance to the O.R....'

'I told you we should have packed a lunch.'

"Your appointment's been cancelled. You took too long filling out those forms."

'I like your spirit - nine out of ten people would admit roller-disco wasn't for them!'

'Dr. Frisinger thinks he may have left a clamp in you.'

Nurse cautioning a patient

"Let's not talk about your diagnosis. It depresses me too much."

'Have I been waiting long? Well, I guess so. I was forty three years old when I came in.'

Hospitalized intellectuals are ill-literates.

Ask me about Naming Rights.

"You car pool guys will be going down together for x-rays."

'Nurse, has the staff been eating in pre-op again? There's mayonnaise on the scalpel.'

'I guess you two won't be reading the Kama Sutra again.'

'Doctor will you step out here and adjust Mr. Hendrick's pacemaker?'