Hospital Sketch Collector Gifts

Wards / Mortuary

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

Providing Healthcare For All

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

"It will be okay to hop when you go home but don't try to run."

What the patient heard and what the doctor meant to convey.

Lessons from the Blakely Art School (Now Defunct)

"Would you like to see today's liquidized menu?"

"There were some squiggly bits left over after the operation, so we gave you a doggie bag."

"Tell me Mr. Jones. Does it hurt when I do this?"

Hospital porter leaving brain behind

"Pay attention, 'switch it off switch it on again' does not apply to the life support machines."

"Bingo! Found it!"

'I'm afraid the bed shortage is rather acute...'

'We've decided it might be better to show your televised operation after the 9 o'clock watershed...'

"Honestly, guys, my check is in the mail."

'We abide by HIPAA laws to protect your privacy.'

'Breast implants? There must be some mistake. I have you down for knee surgery not breast implants!'

'That's why patients shouldn't be told certain things.'

"Don't worry. I'm doing someone's liver resection tomorrow and I'll grab one of their kidneys."

Barrister makes vain appeal for thuggish looking defendant

'There's been a number of complaints about the food.'

"You can't check my pulse while I'm checking your pulse!"

LABRADOODLE DOODLE

"Objection! Tar and feathering the witness."

"You're pretty fast stranger, but that's your cell phone."

"They're to remind me to change your bandages."

'When I said this drug will wipe you out, I meant money-wise.'

'Hmmm - so how do you feel?'

'Just checking that you're my 5:25.'

"You know how it is! We got a warhead, they have to get a warhead."

'The doctor will see you now.'

Big Oil.

'Arms drop.'

'You're lucky -- all I have is a PRACTICAL nurse.'