Hospital Humorists Gifts

Even medical students sometimes have to repeat a year.

Hospital - "Do you have an appointment."

Surgeon to other: 'First organ transplant?'

'The good news is it's curable, the bad news is you can't afford it.'

'I guess you two won't be reading the Kama Sutra again.'

'Look mum and dad! They let me keep my appendix!' - A young book excitedly showing off his appendix to his arriving parents.

"My friend's in long-term hospital care. Got any Get Rich Quick cards?"

'We're fresh out of miracles. Want to see a card trick?'

'He's had so many operations, I'm putting in a zip!'

'That's our new Incontinence Specialist.'

Man in clinic sees sign, 'In the interest of efficiency, clothing is optional.'

"I'm in my doctor's telemedical waiting room!"

"Your insurance covers just enough hand rehabilitation to insure you can open your bills."

Ask me about Naming Rights.

Out of plaster!

Hospitalized intellectuals are ill-literates.

'A boy? I thought you were having a gastric bypass.'

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

You only get your tonsils out once. Milk it.

'He's worried that he'll emerge a butterfly.'

"You car pool guys will be going down together for x-rays."

"The doctor at table 3 said he wanted his toast STAT."

'We are here to remove a blockage in your bank account.'

'Have I been waiting long? Well, I guess so. I was forty three years old when I came in.'

'Guess my wait!'

'Tell the doctor when we lose our patience he's going to lose his.'

"Visiting hours are over, Mrs. Glenborn."

How did it go, Doc? I'm not the doctor, I'm the painter.

'Yes, they're my own teeth. I paid the dentist for them myself.'

Nurse playing darts with syringes.

The Friendship Between Death and the Doctor.

'There's a lot we don't want to know about this disease.'

'Heart attack, Romanian...I need bank details, credit rating, blank invoices Now!'

Warning! Magazines Stay in Waiting Room

It was the busiest department in the hospital.