Hospital Hound Pillows

'The good news is we were able to re-attach your severed hand.'

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

Dancing Doctor

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

"Unfortunately, there's no cure—there's not even a race for a cure."

"Ugh, we get it - you're in love."

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

"Your test results are in...now the interpretations can begin."

'What's holding him up?'

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

Doctor receiving advice from patient's mother

"...we have a heart-lung-kidney-liver-spleen machine."

'The doctor will be with you shortly, he's finishing medical school.'

"I'm sure he'll pull through. He's always been a real fighter."

"It appears your anus transplant has rejected you..."

"I told you, Doctor! There's nothing in here!"

Medical Examinations.

"Which one goes down his bronchial tract and which one goes up his arse?"

'...but besides this, how are you doing?'

"Dr. Eliot, would you let the dog out?"

'Very funny!'

"I came here to be treated - not flattered!"

'If it don't hurt, don't mess with it!'

"You call all this a side effect?"

"First, do no harm. After that, go nuts."

Surgery has sign on wall saying 'To Err is Human.'

"They also left a pamphlet on the benefits of breast feeding."

'We're trying to use a team approach to medicine, but we're having trouble fitting everyone!'

'I would have come to you sooner, but you hadn't graduated from medical school yet.'

'It's the only way he'll take his medicine.'

Doctor who is a clown holding a syringe.

"The doctor says Tia Carmen is resting now...he's encouraging all family visitors to go home. We'll see you back here tomorrow."