Hospital Drama Lover Pillows

'Ok, Ms. Feldman, it says on your chart that you were discharged yesterday.'

'He had a heart attack when his son volunteered to shovel his walk.'

'If it don't hurt, don't mess with it!'

'It might be easier if I tell you what you don't have.'

'For god's sake Walters, wait until the patient is fully anesthetized before going through his wallet.'

'You might have quite a wait - we have a badly battered film crew ahead of you.'

"Prepare an ice bath, stat! That little timer thingy in his back just popped up."

Providing Healthcare For All

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

"Ugh, we get it - you're in love."

'I'd like a second opinion, doctor.'

"Your test results are in...now the interpretations can begin."

"Since he was born today he won't begin daycare until tomorrow."

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

Jester Surgeon

"Please, doc, pull the plug. Not on me...on the TV!"

'I thought my appointment was for a TB screening.'

"BBC One’s Casualty has reached its 1000th episode. The long-running hospital drama is apparently very popular with viewers... But even more popular among jobbing actors."

"I told you, Doctor! There's nothing in here!"

'No, no, no. Shout 'clear' BEFORE zapping him.'

'Is that guy back again? Hey, if you find that sponge I lost, give a shout.'

"I came here to be treated - not flattered!"

'Urology...can you hold?'

'Is it urgent?'

"What is it Doc, I can handle it."

'On second thought, you can go home anytime you want, big fella.'

'You're excused. Anyone else feel too squeamish to witness the procedure?'

Love Tap

'I thought I told you to cut down on sugar.'

"All of my visitors have to wear that get up. Apparently my humour is very infectious."

Paramedics.

'I'm so proud of you sweetie, you haven't smoked for a week!'

'When you said I had to come in for a scan, this isn't what I had in mind.'

"We'd like to start out being very involved with you but eventually be drawn away to much more interesting cases down the hall."

Surgery Instruction Book.