Hospital Drama Junkie Pillows

'If real hospitals were like TV hospitals, we'd all have genital warts.'

"There's nothing wrong with me, we're just making another TV hospital drama."

Dracula in a Vampire Hospital getting some extra blood from a Human blood drip

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

'Reflexes seem normal. You kept him waiting over two hours.'

"Ugh, we get it - you're in love."

'I'd like a second opinion, doctor.'

"Your test results are in...now the interpretations can begin."

"Please, doc, pull the plug. Not on me...on the TV!"

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

"Since he was born today he won't begin daycare until tomorrow."

'I thought my appointment was for a TB screening.'

"We think we got some good CT scans, but unfortunately they're encrypted and our I.T. guy is on vacation this week."

"BBC One’s Casualty has reached its 1000th episode. The long-running hospital drama is apparently very popular with viewers... But even more popular among jobbing actors."

'And then, just to humor the guy I said 'I need a hug', little thinking that the big gorilla would do just that.'

"I told you, Doctor! There's nothing in here!"

'It's your four basic food groups.'

Footballer with a broken leg and a ball in his cast.

'Is that guy back again? Hey, if you find that sponge I lost, give a shout.'

'If it don't hurt, don't mess with it!'

Doctor has the taste for patients urine samples.

"I came here to be treated - not flattered!"

'Urology...can you hold?'

"Whoops..."

'Where does it hurt?'

'I'll give it back to you in a second hon, I just want to get this broccoli out of my teeth.'

"What is it Doc, I can handle it."

'I'm afraid we've removed your wooden leg by mistake.'

"All of my visitors have to wear that get up. Apparently my humour is very infectious."

'On second thought, you can go home anytime you want, big fella.'

"I have some troubling news, Mr. Smithson. You're in my parking space."

'I thought I told you to cut down on sugar.'

'You're excused. Anyone else feel too squeamish to witness the procedure?'

'Apart from the pain I can't get my hat off.'