Hospital Drama Pillows

Gingerbread man in Emergency room.

'I'd like a second opinion, doctor.'

"Once you feel better, the cops want to ask a few questions about the accident." (patient has escaped out of the window).

"Doctor I think it is incompatible blood..."

'So then the linebacker yells back at this guy: 'Oh yeah? Well, next play, I'm gonna cram the ball...' Wait! I got it.'

'It was a blind date,Doctor - I never knew she was a cougar.'

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

"Your test results are in...now the interpretations can begin."

Jester Surgeon

'Let's play doctor. You can be my malpractice lawyer.'

'I thought my appointment was for a TB screening.'

'There's no such thing as 'ookawooka-itis' -- You have got to stop watching doctor shows!'

"If you're such a great Doctor, how come you're not on Chicargo hope or ER?"

"I told you, Doctor! There's nothing in here!"

"I just can't get over how well you look!"

"BBC One’s Casualty has reached its 1000th episode. The long-running hospital drama is apparently very popular with viewers... But even more popular among jobbing actors."

'No, no, no. Shout 'clear' BEFORE zapping him.'

"Last week on 'Top Surgeon' Erica won immunity, while Carl was sent home for killing his patient during routine gallbladder surgery."

'Is that guy back again? Hey, if you find that sponge I lost, give a shout.'

'If it don't hurt, don't mess with it!'

"I came here to be treated - not flattered!"

'Is it urgent?'

'The autopsy revealed he was indeed a yellow-bellied, lily-livered varmint!'

I don't care what happened on ER. This doctor patient relationship is not going to descend into unbridled passion.

'Brain surgery, right?'

Love Tap

"We'd like to start out being very involved with you but eventually be drawn away to much more interesting cases down the hall."

'The good news is, we were able to save your leg'.

'We've decided it might be better to show your televised operation after the 9 o'clock watershed...'

'You sounded better yesterday.'

"But the P.R. guy says he's going to be O.K."

Musical Accidents

"I'm confident he'll pull through. The tests show there is plenty of fight left in him."

Operation/Grim Reaper

'For god's sake Walters, wait until the patient is fully anesthetized before going through his wallet.'