Hospital Drama Lovers Pillows

"Oh doctor, my love for your burns greater than Mr Williamson's urinary tract infection."

"Ugh, we get it - you're in love."

'I'd like a second opinion, doctor.'

"Your test results are in...now the interpretations can begin."

"Please, doc, pull the plug. Not on me...on the TV!"

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

"Since he was born today he won't begin daycare until tomorrow."

Jester Surgeon

'I thought my appointment was for a TB screening.'

"I told you, Doctor! There's nothing in here!"

"BBC One’s Casualty has reached its 1000th episode. The long-running hospital drama is apparently very popular with viewers... But even more popular among jobbing actors."

'No, no, no. Shout 'clear' BEFORE zapping him.'

'Is that guy back again? Hey, if you find that sponge I lost, give a shout.'

'If it don't hurt, don't mess with it!'

"I came here to be treated - not flattered!"

'Urology...can you hold?'

'Is it urgent?'

"What is it Doc, I can handle it."

'On second thought, you can go home anytime you want, big fella.'

'You're excused. Anyone else feel too squeamish to witness the procedure?'

Paramedics.

Love Tap

"All of my visitors have to wear that get up. Apparently my humour is very infectious."

'I thought I told you to cut down on sugar.'

'I'm so proud of you sweetie, you haven't smoked for a week!'

'When you said I had to come in for a scan, this isn't what I had in mind.'

"We'd like to start out being very involved with you but eventually be drawn away to much more interesting cases down the hall."

Surgery Instruction Book.

"Try and get some rest and in a week or two we'll put your brain back in."

'You sounded better yesterday.'

"I assure you I do appreciate what you're feeling."

'Before your 'routine' surgery, your manager would like to stop by and give you a 'routine' exit interview.'

'The good news is, we were able to save your leg'.