Hospital Dj Gifts

Hospital Radio - "And here's one for Mr Moss who's having his hip op today"

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

I could have danced all night!

Cimafunk

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

'Big audio gear is coming back!'

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

'But they told me to take her down to theatre...'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

Robodoc... the NHS surgeon of the future.

Music to drive ( others mad) to...

"I made you a mixtape."

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

"WHich one is mine?"

'Good news. We're not Daft Punk.'

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'

'Will I live Doctor?' 'Yes, but I don't advise it!'

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

Woman in hospital has i.v. attached to plant.

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

Downloading Pregnancy

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

'I'd like to dedicate this next tune to those who have discovered love, gotten married, and wished desperately for death.'

New music conference

'From albums to 8-tracks to cassettes to CD's...What a long, loud trip it's been!'

"Sorry, that's not my table."

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

The last song before the party exploded.

"You'll feel a pinch now and another one when the bill comes."

Cut out and keep your own DJ.

Saline Drip Sommelier.