Hospital Comedy Fan Gifts

'Now that's what I call an overactive thyroid.'

Brain surgery sneeze - 'Gesundheit...!'

Surgery Instruction Book.

Maternity ward public opening.

Emergency room fickle of fate.

We have a Royal patient with severe vomiting!

'Dont you hate it when there are parts left over.'

"I assure you I do appreciate what you're feeling."

'Whoops! Get my lawyer on the phone!'

"All of my visitors have to wear that get up. Apparently my humour is very infectious."

"Good news, it's not malignant. It's just a stamp showing the expiration date on your body."

"Normally, I wouldn't care if some guy hated my guts...but he's my surgeon!"

"I've come to visit my husband: he's the one who collapsed outside when he saw the car-parking charges..."

"Yesss, I've cured many cases of hypochondria with a hypodermic."

'So, how's things going at work? We found a boot when we did your colonoscopy.'

The Impractical Guide to Babies: 'Get out of me!'

'On second thought, you can go home anytime you want, big fella.'

"There was a system failure that caused a brief crash, but fortunately I was able to reboot."

'Arthur you've got a visitor.'

Urine sample I said...SAMPLE!

"If it's any consolation it was not the virus."

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

Dracula in a Vampire Hospital getting some extra blood from a Human blood drip

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

'Reflexes seem normal. You kept him waiting over two hours.'

'Will I live Doctor?' 'Yes, but I don't advise it!'

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

An organ flies across the room during an operation - 'Catch it...!'

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

"Please, doc, pull the plug. Not on me...on the TV!"

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

"Since he was born today he won't begin daycare until tomorrow."