Hospital Comedy Fans Gifts

"You are so lucky. You are not going to classes for the next six months."

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

Dracula in a Vampire Hospital getting some extra blood from a Human blood drip

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

'Reflexes seem normal. You kept him waiting over two hours.'

'Will I live Doctor?' 'Yes, but I don't advise it!'

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

An organ flies across the room during an operation - 'Catch it...!'

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

The Friendship Between Death and the Doctor.

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

"Since he was born today he won't begin daycare until tomorrow."

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

"Please, doc, pull the plug. Not on me...on the TV!"

"I never imagined I'd be up on my feet this soon."

'Look mum and dad! They let me keep my appendix!' - A young book excitedly showing off his appendix to his arriving parents.

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mr.Hooper, I've just got the report on your finances.'

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

'I thought my appointment was for a TB screening.'

'How about a little smile for me. You've outlived my prediction!'

"These are X-Rays of your operation, and this is a selfie I took with your gall bladder."

"We think we got some good CT scans, but unfortunately they're encrypted and our I.T. guy is on vacation this week."

"BBC One’s Casualty has reached its 1000th episode. The long-running hospital drama is apparently very popular with viewers... But even more popular among jobbing actors."

'Yeah, bit how does the stork get into the maternity room?'

'And then, just to humor the guy I said 'I need a hug', little thinking that the big gorilla would do just that.'

"It says you need a CT scan and that the azaleas in the corner need to be watered twice daily."

While you're at it, will you sew on my shirt button please?

'It's your four basic food groups.'

'I'm a practical nurse! -- I know better than to listen to doctors!'

"I got my PhD in Nursing just so people would have to call me Doctor."

Clown Delivering Babies.

'Could you stay out of the room for awhile, Nurse? -- Every time you walk in here, his testosterone levels surge.'