Hospital Aficionados Gifts

"Warm, generous, sincere? - Hey, I must be dead."

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

"These are X-Rays of your operation, and this is a selfie I took with your gall bladder."

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

'How about a little smile for me. You've outlived my prediction!'

"I expect a speedy recovery,"

'Your doing GREAT! Tomorrow you should be able to eat hospital food!'

"Sometimes it helps to turn a question around. Why not you?"

'Another day. . . another half dozen medical breakthroughs for us to comprehend. . .'

"I got my PhD in Nursing just so people would have to call me Doctor."

"Hey, this anti-depressant you've come up with really works"

"We're going to run some tests: bloodwork, a cat-scan and the S.A.T.'s."

Man on left - 'What do you call a public servant who spends half their time doing private work?' Man on right - 'An MP?'

Locum GP's to be paid for extra work on the BMA agreement

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

'Two Aspirins'...'Brain Tumor'

Pay Hospital Bill Here.

"What should we do with this extra part?"

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

"He's a whiz kid."

'Four years of medical school and three years of residency, and you come bothering me with the sniffles?'

Hospital porter leaving brain behind

Doctors in Love.

"You've got a bad case of Docwantsa Newkar."

Meds Toast

'You're either getting smaller or they're giving you bigger pillows.'

"You've got to move. The bed is needed for another TV drama."

'You can have general anesthesia or just be numbed from the wallet down.'

"Don't let old age get you down. It's too difficult to get up again."

'We've been told to get families more involved in patient care, he'll need a bath and lunch in about 30 minutes.'

'Tell me more! That's my favorite symptom!'

'Don't worry! If your self diagnosis turns out to be correct this time, this will take care of it.'

Hospital Visit