Horse Race Aficionado Gifts

Jockey giving instructions to indignant stable boy

'Don't you think I should at least get a no-claims bonus? None of my horses have ever won.'

"Yes indeed ma'am - soft going."

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

F&E Stables. Horses Boarded. The owner of this horse is a huge fan of the late musician, "Prince." That explains the purple reins.

Man in office on saddle: 'You heard right. I just got hired as a desk jockey.'

'Look Daddy: I'm wearing Mummy's shoes...'

The Epsom Derby - Bookies

The Epsom Derby - Omnibus in Motion

Gentlemen Riders

'I think I felt a foal. Why don't we run a blood test to be sure?'

"A horse by any other mane would small as sweat."

'What's founder?'

First past the post.

Disraeli's Reform Bill Passes the Committee Stage

Horse takes its owner for a walk.

Knight sees sign near castle: 'Prince's Parking, All Others Will Be Toad.'

'I win!'

"I'm a huge proponent of control over speed."

"The first thing we have to do is get you up there."

Horse racing puns

'Impressive resume, but frankly, in your line of work, people just want to check your teeth...'

"She just loves them - she's a total girl horse."

Stubborn Horses

'I can't stand to see an animal in pain....'

The Derby- Horse Auction at Tattersall's

'I'm stressed: My dad was a champion, my mum was a champion, there's a lot of pressure on me to become a champion...'

"Lady here wants to put £5 on Cambridge 'Each way'!"

Stout gentleman: 'That's the way to get over a gate! I don't think you left me so far behind that time.'

"So then in comes this good-looking French vet from Vétérinaires sans Frontirères."

"Hundreds of eggs a year, and I've never seen a vet. The Mare has one foal, and it's the Mayo Clinic."

'When I drink, I don't drive my car.'

'It's a hybrid.'