Racehorse Enthusiast Gifts

"I had no idea you were still racing him."

''Am I Going Crazy' to win in the 4.30.'

"You want motivation? I'll give you motivation: if you win your races, you'll reture on a stud farm, but if you keep on losing, it's off to the knackery!"

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

And you will know it has all be worth it when he's up and about again.

"They haven't mated yet, but I think we're getting close."

Man in office on saddle: 'You heard right. I just got hired as a desk jockey.'

'Look Daddy: I'm wearing Mummy's shoes...'

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

The Epsom Derby - Bookies

Gentlemen Riders

'What's founder?'

"A horse by any other mane would small as sweat."

The Epsom Derby - Omnibus in Motion

'I think I felt a foal. Why don't we run a blood test to be sure?'

First past the post.

Horse takes its owner for a walk.

Knight sees sign near castle: 'Prince's Parking, All Others Will Be Toad.'

'Impressive resume, but frankly, in your line of work, people just want to check your teeth...'

Horse racing puns

"The first thing we have to do is get you up there."

"I'm a huge proponent of control over speed."

"She just loves them - she's a total girl horse."

Stubborn Horses

'I can't stand to see an animal in pain....'

The Derby- Horse Auction at Tattersall's

'I'm stressed: My dad was a champion, my mum was a champion, there's a lot of pressure on me to become a champion...'

"Hundreds of eggs a year, and I've never seen a vet. The Mare has one foal, and it's the Mayo Clinic."

'I sort of drifted into this...I always wanted to do children's gymkhanas.'

Stout gentleman: 'That's the way to get over a gate! I don't think you left me so far behind that time.'

'When I drink, I don't drive my car.'

"So then in comes this good-looking French vet from Vétérinaires sans Frontirères."

'It's a hybrid.'

Horse Clean-up