Horse Racing Devotee Gifts

'Did my horse win?' - 'No, he failed the drug test.'

And you will know it has all be worth it when he's up and about again.

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

The Epsom Derby - Bookies

'What's founder?'

The Epsom Derby - Omnibus in Motion

Gentlemen Riders

First past the post.

Disraeli's Reform Bill Passes the Committee Stage

Horse racing puns

The Derby- Horse Auction at Tattersall's

"Lady here wants to put £5 on Cambridge 'Each way'!"

A tessellation of running figures.

'Was Monty the culprit? Had he fixed a horse race? He couldn't remember.'

"Phil, could I speak to you for a moment, not as your doctor but as your horse?"

The horses are off and "Movie Star" take the lead. Here comes "Freight Train" on the rail. Around the bend and down the stretch "Yoge Pose" takes the lead. It might be "Short Circuit" at the wire. No! The winner is "Selfie" in a photo finish!

'Why did he cut the chicane - the giant spider isn't on the track, he's on our screen.'

'The blooming thing took a wrong turn off the course.'

STRIP Hambone: Betting on horse racing with the company payroll

'Do you think he'll win the second race?'

'Are you sure we're on the right track?'

'I went riding this morning. . . he got back before I did.'

'Frankly, medals are more trouble than they're worth. They bonk me in the head whenever I trot.'

'Today's newspaper has my daddy as favourite for Sunday's race...'

I've never seen anyone so confident about a race!

"If he could put a horse up his sleeve, he'd probably win at that too."

Why unicorns became extinct.

Panto Horse at the Races

'Lost again. I hope you kept a diary of your trip.'

Tour de France champ Hendrik 'Joop' Zoetemelk

"I expected it to be a lot busier on our opening night."

'I'd recommend leaving risky investments. Put your money into something safe. Have you ever thought of betting on horses?'

Finish Annual IOK Grunion Run

"An ounce of prevention." "This way we don't need to raise as much."

"What does 'giddyup' even mean?"