Horse Betting Gifts

I'm sorry, the pension fund was beaten by two lengths!

Little league world series of poker.

A day at the races

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

A day at the transgenic races

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

'Come on, I dare you: I say you can't drink a whole dew drop...'

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

'I don't like to take chances.'

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

"Blast, you've cleaned me out again!" Grey squirrels out competing red squirrel for food.

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

The Epsom Derby - Bookies

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

How I met your mother

The Epsom Derby - Omnibus in Motion

Gentlemen Riders

First past the post.

Disraeli's Reform Bill Passes the Committee Stage

'What's the point of a bookmakers if there's nowhere left that sells books?'

'Oh no. Another major code violation decision.'

'Why do you always win at cards but not horses? I can't shuffle the horses.'

Destination casinos...

Site of new Super Gamblers Anonymous.

'This may be an old computer, but it won the March Madness office pool again and wants the money deposited in its Swiss bank account.'

'It's ok Billy . . .I won a bet with principal Jones!'

Horse five to win, unless they change the jockey.

'I can't stand to see an animal in pain....'

"Did you see neighhhhhh...bours last night?"

The Derby- Horse Auction at Tattersall's

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'