Horse Racing Gifts

"My word! I do believe that your hat is eating mine!!"

First past the post.

'Knee replacement huh? I'm pretty sure Thunder wasn't given that was an option.'

"And this is one of me in the 3:30 at Doncaster"

"Retirement is great, and I don't miss the races really: I do miss the roar of the crowd though..."

Horse five to win, unless they change the jockey.

Competitive Horse at the Racetracks.

"The treasurer's report will be delayed until the 6th race at Ascot."

'Are you sure we're on the right track?'

Betting on $80 oil price.

'I can't stand to see an animal in pain....'

"If we didn't have a first past the post system I'd beat you everytime."

'I suggest a short term cash investment. Lucky Lady 2.30 Newmarket.'

Disraeli's Reform Bill Passes the Committee Stage

Betting the Farm.

Upon review of the finish photo, race officials discovered cheating on the part of Turf King.

Jockey with blinkers.

'How's your job at the stables?' - 'I'd better dash. My work is piling up.'

"Why don't you try a different style of gambling? Like Russian roulette."

"Are you ever going to take up horse racing again?"

'You want me to make the horse's nose LONGER?'

"Noooooooooooooooo!"

'I chose the jockeys wearing the prettiest colours and I'm doing better than him!'

Bob wondered why his odds had rocketed to 100-1.

Financial Advisor - Reading Racing Post

'Your horse is sure to win now that he's got rid of that little man on his back.'

A day at the races

'Say 'Please'.'

'The difference between the stockmarket and the horses is that at least one horse always wins.'

'Not bad, 3mn 30s, but you still need to do much better than that...'

'It took us 12 years to genetically engineer him. We are going to make millions!'

-"It would have been a photo finish..." -"Yes, but by the time our horse got there it was too dark for a photo!"

Doorway for Hats at Ascot

'Oh, sorry - I'm getting my London Marathons mixed up with my Grand Nationals.'

Royal Ascot