Horse Racing Gifts

"My word! I do believe that your hat is eating mine!!"

First past the post.

'Knee replacement huh? I'm pretty sure Thunder wasn't given that was an option.'

"And this is one of me in the 3:30 at Doncaster"

"Retirement is great, and I don't miss the races really: I do miss the roar of the crowd though..."

Horse five to win, unless they change the jockey.

"The treasurer's report will be delayed until the 6th race at Ascot."

Competitive Horse at the Racetracks.

'Are you sure we're on the right track?'

Betting on $80 oil price.

'I suggest a short term cash investment. Lucky Lady 2.30 Newmarket.'

'I can't stand to see an animal in pain....'

"If we didn't have a first past the post system I'd beat you everytime."

"Noooooooooooooooo!"

"Why don't you try a different style of gambling? Like Russian roulette."

"Are you ever going to take up horse racing again?"

Disraeli's Reform Bill Passes the Committee Stage

Jockey with blinkers.

'How's your job at the stables?' - 'I'd better dash. My work is piling up.'

Betting the Farm.

'You want me to make the horse's nose LONGER?'

'Your horse is sure to win now that he's got rid of that little man on his back.'

A day at the races

Financial Advisor - Reading Racing Post

Bob wondered why his odds had rocketed to 100-1.

'I chose the jockeys wearing the prettiest colours and I'm doing better than him!'

"Is this a slow motion replay, or the horse you've bet on?"

Royal Ascot

'Say 'Please'.'

-"It would have been a photo finish..." -"Yes, but by the time our horse got there it was too dark for a photo!"

'Not bad, 3mn 30s, but you still need to do much better than that...'

Race horse training at the seaside

Financial advisor reading racing statistics.

'Well this could be a problem.'

'The difference between the stockmarket and the horses is that at least one horse always wins.'