Horse Racer Gifts

Jockey with blinkers.

'Well this could be a problem.'

The Derby- Horse Auction at Tattersall's

'Last again. I hope you kept a diary of your trip.'

'Faster, our past is catching up with us!'

". . . And it's Lucky Ji keeping at least two metres away from Nelly's Boy who is responsibly distancing two metres behind Desert Orea who is. . ."

"Never mind showing him the fence, show him the winning post."

Biggest Hat Award

"Just passed the post - sadly not first, but last in the previous race!"

'Really? I'm a professional racer too...'

'How did it go at the track today, dear?'

'When I'm in the saddle I'm part of the horse.' - 'Yes, but which part?'

'My dad's very kind to animals. Yesterday he put his shirt on a horse that was scratched.'

'He failed the drugs test.'

'The blooming thing took a wrong turn off the course.'

'Wait a minute...what do I win by winning this thing?'

'Where are the jockey shorts?'

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

The Runaway Horse

A day at the races

A day at the transgenic races

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

The Epsom Derby - Bookies

Tractor Racing

Gentlemen Riders

The Epsom Derby - Omnibus in Motion

First past the post.

Disraeli's Reform Bill Passes the Committee Stage

Stubborn Horses

'Why do you always win at cards but not horses? I can't shuffle the horses.'