Horror Show Lover Gifts

"I understand they're pretty much extinct everywhere else."

Trial by Media

'He likes to power nap.'

'One eye of newt or two?'

Unfinished painting of a monster in a lake sits beside the lake with no painter in sight

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

"Fred's had too much to drink - now he's hitting on that old coat rack."

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

"There it was again...SOOIE! And then she realized the pig call was coming from inside the house!"

Doglike man to vampire: 'Call me an apprentice werewolf, or even a beginner werewolf, but don't call me an under werewolf!'

'Well, now we know why Dracula's been getting all the girls lately.'

"And by president we mean the one on Saturday night tv, not the real one. He kinda sucks."

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

'Awesome mummy costume!' 'I'm a pirate! Some kids just TPed me...'

"I'm Lester Holt, and this, is date night."

"Had more ghost-hunters 'round my place last night....scared the daylights outta me!"

Trick or Tweet

"Eye of pie...a**e of rat...p**s of newt."

'Ya gotta love the way this farmer gets into Halloween spirit.'

Zombie pet tricks.

"Harry?... Is that you?"

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

"Spoiler alert."

"What are you doing? It's Halloween. Not leaving your deliveries to the last minute this year?"

Whodunnit. Whoreallydunnit.

Punkins

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

'I don't think you quite grasp our overall motif.'

"No Hand Sanitiser"

Milkin' Impossible

"Frank, I want you to try antidepressants."

"I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's undead."

Scary Halloween ICD-10 codes.

First Transsylvanian Blood Bank