Horror Film Gifts

"I was a young actress, the camera was running and suddenly this guy was after me moaning 'brain! braiin!'"

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

Love at First Sight

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

'Take a few days off. Suck some necks ...'

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

Horror movies

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

'... And this is my cellar.'

Night of the Latkes

I have an idea - Let's sit around the campfire and watch scary movies on our iPads!

Halloween may be a little different this year.

Unfinished painting of a monster in a lake sits beside the lake with no painter in sight

Chiller Theatre

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

Ghost School.

Silence of the Chickens...

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

Night of the Zombonies.

Dead Funny

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

Godzillla eating people using telephone poles as chopsticks.

Frankenstein working at a hot dog stand.

"I don't know what else we can do. He won't look up from the screen!"

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"