Horoscope Humorists T-Shirts

"I was actually born in September, but I identify as a Pisces."

"I didn't know you were so gullible."

"Something very big buried a lot of bones here."

'If you had been born two days later you'd have been kind and clever with a great sense of humour.'

"You shouldn't have hypnotised him"

"Do you think someday we'll look back on this and laugh?"

'My horoscope said I was going to make someone happy today.'

'No wonder I'm exhausted. Look at my horoscope.'

"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, when Jupiter is in his 6th house or Saturn is in his 2nd, until death do you part?"

Once Again Jeff Had Put Too Much Helium In The Party Balloons.

"My real money comes from my TV news appearances predicting stock market rises and falls."

You will awake to discover a dream come true.

"We're not compatible. I'm a Virgo and your an idiot..."

"You don't look much like a werewolf."

'You have the body of a 22 year old man, providing your birthday is February 29th.'

"No, I'm afraid Pluto is never in the dog house."

'Yeah, I'm a trife scorpio - what of it?'

'Hmphh, your horoscope says you're going to have a date, with a Taurus, and I'm a Gemini.'

Big Birthday Boy Breakfast.

Horoscope - Look out for Large Windfall (Man crushed by giant apple).

Happy Birthday!

'I had a rough year in the market. I can't attract gold diggers anymore. The best I can hope for is a silver digger.'

'Ha ha! You've been afraid of someone else's future!'

Heaven is unattended...leave your prayers at the sound of the tone.

'I'm a Pisces.'

'And this is where we attempt to forecast the true size of the spending cuts!'

"It's my birthday. How about a free drink?"

'According to my horoscope one of us is going on a long journey.'

'I don't believe in astrology. I think that's because I'm a Leo.'

'Your horoscope says you're going to have a nasty accident today.'

'I don't deny that my client murdered a man, but his moon was in Taurus, folks, His moooooon was in Taurus!'

"Libra (September 23-October 23): Busy, busy, busy."

"Isn't it amazing! My horoscope said I was going to meet a tall dark stranger..."