Astrology Humorist T-Shirts

Anti-Bias Training Seminar: No Sagittarians!

Nostrildamus.

"Something very big buried a lot of bones here."

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

Water is discovered on the moon....

'It's all done with computer animation now.'

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

'If you had been born two days later you'd have been kind and clever with a great sense of humour.'

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

'Those are the Divinity students.'

'My horoscope said I was going to make someone happy today.'

"My real money comes from my TV news appearances predicting stock market rises and falls."

Heaven

"Dad, if there's a plot to the universe, can you see any spoilers?"

"We're not compatible. I'm a Virgo and your an idiot..."

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

Life on cloud 8

'Millions of billions of trillions of light years away? I could visualise it if you said it in MILES!'

'Yeah, I'm a trife scorpio - what of it?'

'Hmphh, your horoscope says you're going to have a date, with a Taurus, and I'm a Gemini.'

"Just a few more minutes. The system's down but we got a guy working on it."

"No, I'm afraid Pluto is never in the dog house."

"Up here everything is pretty much opposite."

"Sometimes I miss a good smiting."

"Look - the FIRST EVER picture of a black hole!! What do you think?"

'What? -- I send you all this great sunlight, and you waste it growing PROTOPLASM?'

Horoscope - Look out for Large Windfall (Man crushed by giant apple).

'Can I trust a Doctor whose prescriptions have absolutely no side effects?'

New Years Reolutions

Angel Crash

'Your better half isn't up here... It seems you were the better half.'