Hormone Therapy Humorist Gifts

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

Self help acupuncture

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

Lactose Intolerant

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

PSA Banter.

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

"What do I do to relieve stress? I meditate, about not working here."

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

Providing Healthcare For All

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

'What you seem to be suffering from is longevity.'

'Will I live Doctor?' 'Yes, but I don't advise it!'

'We're all out of flu vaccine - how about something for anxiety...?'

'That reminds me of the blind date I had last weekend!'

'His workout regimen consists of 50 sit-downs every day.'

"Is that your idea of a well balanced diet"

Clown Cheering Up Patient.

"Gesundheit!"

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

'It may be more inconvenient, but the 'Reverse Prostate Exam' is a lot less embarrassing for the both of us.'

My Dream Valentine