Hoop Hero Gifts

A basketball game

'We're counting on you, Luther. The game's to 21, winner's outs... And I hope we don't need to remind you what happens to all of us if you lose.'

'I can't dunk.'

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

'I do a lot of icing. It's part of my mellowness.'

"OK, ready to go again?"

PROBLEM AREAS

'Anything is possible in our great country, son. If an Afro-American can become president, a white man can become a pro basketball player.'

I love Basketball.

'Lungs, normal. Heart, normal. Kidneys, normal. For the life of me, I can't figure out where your pain is coming... wait. Do you play hockey?'

"Ever since the elevator broke down, we've learned that our staff is in desperate need of a fitness program. Especially, since we're only one floor up."

Zdeno Chara

Kids playing ice hockey for a medal.

'This game is going to be a character-building experience.'

A muscle pushing a body builders brain out of his skull.

Office Safety.

Hey, Twig! Ryan Beardsley wants your cell phone number! The divine wonder of West Fester High? Finally! My life changes for the better. He needs activities for his college apps and wants to come to our shortest eco-club cleanup. Change you can believe in. West Fester High School.

Goalie Wall.

Athletic Darwinism.

Another entry from the encyclopedia of gaming: Pixel sprain - any physical injury incurred from intense video game play.

You look like a team player. I like that!

Sit-ups / Stationary-ups

"Nicole, Kyle, would you guys burn my yearbook?"

T-Rex: the Best Hockey Goalie

'Say, Doc, I'll need more of that steroid stuff for old King. He's still kind of peaked. Must need some heavy doses."

"I feel sorry for kids these days - they're always being tested for something"

"I knew there would be a time I could wear them without destroying my feet."

Mount Everest.

I love hockey!

Society for the vertically challenged: Our founder.

Mat Trick

Canadian Jesus

"Trust me. This is the last place they'll find us."

'Your feet are killing me!'

"It keeps us fit at a safe social distance."